Friday, January 23, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
January 17, 2008 8:30 pm
2 months today...ugh
Seems like a life time...and yet just happened...
Today, Hanna had a volleyball tournament in Grand Junction...has kept us busy...DJ and I took some time today to go for a walk around the soccer field at Central High School. Just happens this field was the field Emily blew her knee on...felt sort of theraputic...felt right to be on a soccer field today...
For me, I've learned to move through each day, talk with people, joke, and listen...but in my quiet time, the pain in my heart, the loneliness in my being is deep and cutting...I miss my daughter, I miss her laughter, I miss her hugs, I miss our late night talks, I miss her being, her spirit, her love, I miss her silly ness, I miss her telling me she doesn't need a job, I'm just a kid and then a chuckle, I miss her rambling, I miss the preparation for some soccer "something". I miss giving her back rubs and arm tickles, I miss the blow dryer. I miss her, Hanna and DJ picking on me. I miss telling her how much I love her and I miss her telling me how much she loves me. I miss everything about her...and I wish so much she was here.
I've started back to work part time...it gives me something to focus on. I'm thankful for my job. (But hoping to win the lotto! haha)
Hanna is going to start part time school and part time homeschooling...I'm not sure Hanna knows what she is feeling...she just needs more time...
DJ is sad...his heart is heavy...time...
Time...according to Albert Einstein..."The only reason for time is so that everyting doesn't happen at once"
Seems like a life time...and yet just happened...
Today, Hanna had a volleyball tournament in Grand Junction...has kept us busy...DJ and I took some time today to go for a walk around the soccer field at Central High School. Just happens this field was the field Emily blew her knee on...felt sort of theraputic...felt right to be on a soccer field today...
For me, I've learned to move through each day, talk with people, joke, and listen...but in my quiet time, the pain in my heart, the loneliness in my being is deep and cutting...I miss my daughter, I miss her laughter, I miss her hugs, I miss our late night talks, I miss her being, her spirit, her love, I miss her silly ness, I miss her telling me she doesn't need a job, I'm just a kid and then a chuckle, I miss her rambling, I miss the preparation for some soccer "something". I miss giving her back rubs and arm tickles, I miss the blow dryer. I miss her, Hanna and DJ picking on me. I miss telling her how much I love her and I miss her telling me how much she loves me. I miss everything about her...and I wish so much she was here.
I've started back to work part time...it gives me something to focus on. I'm thankful for my job. (But hoping to win the lotto! haha)
Hanna is going to start part time school and part time homeschooling...I'm not sure Hanna knows what she is feeling...she just needs more time...
DJ is sad...his heart is heavy...time...
Time...according to Albert Einstein..."The only reason for time is so that everyting doesn't happen at once"
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