It's 11:30 on November 9, 2009 and one year ago...I remember walking into Emily's room and giving her the key to the green turd as she called my subaru...I looked at her and gently touched her face and said, dad and I are leaving for Denver...where do you want me to put this key and she said..on the table...I said I love you and she said I love you too. I remember vividly her position...she always slept on her back. Her perfect little nose. Her mouth. Her beautiful hair. Her eyes were closed...and I shut the door...
And I can't help but say right now...if only we didn't go to Denver...
I'm not sure why right now seems so hard. It truly isn't any different than ever day this past year...but it's hard. Maybe because we could always look back and say rem(em)ber last year at this time...and now there is just sadness left for this time last year. I really can't explain it.
This year I've learned about sadness. The kind that really feels like your heart is broken...like it's cracking while you cry. This year I've learned about empathy. I've learned to listen. This year I've learned about community. That saying "it takes a village..." I couldn't have gotten to today without mine. I learned that tomorrow is another day. And you will wake up. And you will move through it.
You have to find a way to laugh a little bit each day despite everything, or your heart will simply run out of the joy that makes it go. ~Daoud Hari
Please post your memories of Emily under the "Memories" topic, or email your photo's to emtarp5@yahoo.com.
Em(ily)brace
"Embrace" with the initials "(ily)" which stands for "I love you."
4 comments:
i don't know what the chances are that the first time i read this blog for probably 10 months is also the day after you wrote on it... but i guess the chances are pretty good becasue thats what happened. it had nothing to do with it being a year now.
i miss emily, i love emily.
luke
my mind is blank and my heart feels empty. It's armour, because I don't want to recount the minutes, hours, and days of last year at this time. Maybe it's because I have gone over it so many time in the past 12 months. I just know I feel like it has been a lifetime since I have seen Em and I miss her. Your strength and light are showing us all the way. Thank you for that.
I have always wondered about that morning...thanks for sharing it with us. I love you.
I am having a hard week myself, because I had 2 losses this week. While praying for Emily, all the kids at the hospital and your family. My stepdad passed away and went to attend his funeral so I missed Em's and I think even though I wasn't one of the close parents to her and you, I have had a hard time with closure on this. I still cry for your pain on a regular basis and will be there for the memorial on Tuesday! Stay strong and keep leaning our way! Together we have strong shoulders to help carry you through!
I opened my Facebook today and saw a picture posted of a beautiful young lady. The young lady was Emily. I clicked on it.
I had just gotten back in from dropping the youngest(17) of my four daughters off at the park and ride.
I have spent most of my morning reading about Emily, stories from family and friends. Watching slide shows.
I cried, smiled and cried alot more after reading poingnant memories from mom about when Emily was a baby and little girl.
I am crying now.
I tried to imagine one of my beautiful daughters passing and it put me in a bad place, then I had to come back to reality and pray that I never experience this.
I am no stranger to tragedies and death of young people. The past 3 years have been riddled with tragic losses of family and dear friends.
I want Emily's family to know that today I thought of a young girl I never knew but by her memorial and family keeping her alive here I have come to know her.
I can say I love Emily and her legacy. She was a brave soul and a bright shiny light.
I will think of her often I suspect.
Thank you for making this blog site it has helped me through a tough start of a crazy week.
I wish you peace and love through out this up coming season and for all the seasons of your lives.
Sincerly
Chris Pettibon
mzcallaway@yahoo.com
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