When you are 16 years old and exit...there are sooo many questions...and no answers..."Time can bring you down, it can bend your knees, have you beggin' please" for sure...
I know if I were on the outside...I too, would be wondering how are they doing?
Everyone talks about stages of grieving...and I'm sure we need to go through them all but who's to say if we are doing it right or wrong...
Hanna, has gone to school this week...she seems so strong. She is making good choices. Is writing to Emily. Walks in her room and says can I have this shirt or I have an idea...we are talking and her name isn't off limits...I think this is healthy???
DJ and I... we are sharing thoughts and feelings...we find that time doesn't really make sense and we SIT and STARE a lot. I have a list of things I need to do and if I get one thing done...I feel like I've accomplished lots. We joke because yesterday, I said I would vacuum...I did manage to plug the damn thing in. We walked around it all the rest of the day :) DJ vacuumed today. I've taken the flowers and pulled what I thought would dry pretty and made arrangements to dry and hang from our beams. I've pressed some flowers and I hope that someday I will find that old window that I can make a dried arrangement in (like I see at the fairs around the valley). And the rest we have put in our composter...I believe we will have some rich, beautiful soil right here in Silt because of Emily! DJ seems to be better at letting himself "feel" and be sad. I am still numb. I've had a couple times that I've cried so hard and felt so desperate but I don't like the feeling and make myself stop...I go numb again. I love hearing stories and looking at pictures and remembering what's good.
I think about how you, the people close to her feel and hope you are finding comfort some how, some way...keep talking, keep feeling, be healthy???
The last two nights we've been playing rummy at night...ha ha DJ and Hanna (oh and my sister Kim tonight) I'm the better than your better...ha ha
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6 comments:
Sheryl, DJ and Hanna,
I just want you to know that I love you guys so much! There is NO right or wrong in grieving, I am sure about this b/c I have read a lot about it lately :-o.
Please know that you guys are constantly in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know if you need anything!
Lots of love,
TJ, Michelle, Matthew & Mark
p.s. I lost 5lbs this week... I will not break my promise! /T
I am so glad that Kim is with you at this time. She was anxious to get back to Colorado to be with all of you. Thinking of you as you begin the long road of healing
together. There is no right or wrong way. There is no time limit or beginning and end. Everybody grieves and heals at thier own pace in their own way. The important thing to do is to never stop communicating with the ones that you love and to stay close to each other during the process. Each of you will have ups and downs as you grieve and you will need the closeness of eachother to help you out of the dark. Keep playing rummy!! Time and family will see you through :)
Much Love,
~Teresa
Dear Sheryl, DJ and Hanna,
Emily died one year to the day after my mom died. My mom struggled the last few years of her life. She's struggling no more. She lived her life to the fullest, as Emily did.
You talk about grieving... I believe grieving is personal (in that we all go about it in our own way), and yet healthiest when it is shared with those who care about us. I believe it is healthy for you to open up as you do to those around you.
Talking to Emily... I talk to my mom from time to time and remember how blessed I was to have her. We really had a conversation this Thanksgiving when I made homemade noodles as she and her mom used to make. I asked them both to guide me through as the end result was not looking good. As I talked, I got strength and encouragement. The noodles turned out pretty good!
Anyway, it warmed my heart to see you and DJ out running errands recently. Keep pushing through the pain - think of the blessings, as I know you do. How beautiful it is that you are composting the flowers.
Love,
Karen Wentzel
Sheryl, DJ and Hanna,
We talked about Emily tonight at dinner and dicussed how Michael's tatoo will look like. He wants to get the words "Always RemEMber". I think I might do the same!
There is not a day that goes by that I don't cry for your loss. It's incredibly sad and not fair at all.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think, "what would Emily do?"
Because of this unbelievable experience....I will be a better person.
i love you all!
Diane
Sheryl,
Please know that you are still in our prayers...Paul and Mal Howley
The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting®, held annually the second Sunday in December, this year December 14, unites family and friends around the globe as they light candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memories of children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries.
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